The Frog in the Water

There was once a story about how if you would put a 12 year old athlete in a pot of boiling water that he or she would immediately jump out. But if you put that same 12 year old in a pot of cold water, turned the heat on so that the water warmed up gradually, that the athlete would boil to death. Ok, so maybe it was a frog. I always get that mixed up.

You probably know the story. But if you take a look at youth sports, I think you can see that the same analogy can be applied. I would think that many of our kids, and probably even many parents, if they had never been involved with youth sports and suddenly came upon the local little league, ponytail, or other youth sports organization, might be a bit shocked at the carrying on. I’m sure they would think twice before joining.

Those of us already there….we’ve gotten used to it. Some of us have probably even become a bit numbed by it all.

I’ve seen families who used to be on the same team and were good friends, are now opponents and can hardly talk to each other. I mean, we’re talking to the point of rudeness here…not your friendly competitive teasing.

We have parents of opposing teams getting angry with each other because of a call the umpire made. And of course, the ump takes it from both sides too. (And we wonder why we have a shortage of umpires.)

There are people on various message boards that will insult one another, call each other names, and just be downright childish because they disagree on a coaching technique.

I’ve seen organization board members complain season after season about how they do all the work and that nobody helps. Yet when they get some new people on the board the first thing they do is demand that the newbies do things the same way they did it and if they don’t an argument develops there. Then the old board members wonder why nobody wants to join in and help out.

I’ve seen parents take their daughters from team to team because they weren’t getting enough playing time. Sometimes it because they were not one of the best players and other times the player ended up in the doghouse or leaving the team because her parents tried to dictate to the coach how he or she should run the team.

Adults hating and fighting with each other; kids embarrassed by their parent’s behavior; parents (adults - allegedly) calling opposing players (12 year olds even) names; coaches teaching players to cheat until the player gets caught; I could go on and on and on.

In the Old Testament book of Judges, there is a verse that says “There was no king in Israel, and everyone did as he sees fit.” This can really be used for youth sports today, as well as many other places in our society. Everyone does as he sees as right.

Everyone wants to be the leader. Of if not the leader, they still want things done their way. They want their kid to come first. They want their son or daughter to get the awards. We want, we want, we want…. But we don’t seem to want to learn from those who might benefit us the most.

Parents, let’s change youth sports for the better. Let’s learn to accept what we are given, as we want out children to accept what we are able to give them. Let’s learn to accept the call of the officials, so that our sons and daughters will also learn to accept their rulings. Let’s learn to accept the position the coach puts our kids in, and if it is not the position we wanted, let’s teach our kids to work harder to earn the place they would like to achieve.

Let’s teach our kids that reward is earned by accomplishment, not something to be handed to everyone.

If your son or daughter is older than 16, take a look at how many trophies they have from teams in rec ball where everyone got a trophy. Ask your son or daughter how important those trophies are to them now. Compare how much more valuable is the trophy that they had to earn; the award that their teammates voted for them to receive; or the Coach’s award or the Most Improved Player award.

Parents – let’s learn to be civil with each other, on the field or off. And while we spend a lot of our lives trying to teach our children the ways of life, let’s try not to get carried away at times…sometimes we can learn a lesson or two from our children.