Tragedy Hurts. But is this a crime?

For the second part of the three part blog, I am going to discuss the issue of the young man’s death in Kentucky. Please understand: I believe this event is an absolute tragedy. I doubt that there is anyone who would disagree with that. My sympathy goes to the family of Max Gilpen. I know how bad I would feel if something happened to my daughter. There is no question of the sadness of such an event.

What I do question is whether or not the coach should be charged with a crime, any crime, much less negligent homicide. It seems by all accounts that the coach is taking Max’s death almost as hard as the family of the athlete is. Again, I know I feel bad any time one of my players gets hurt. How many times worse would it be if a player died? It is something that I would wish for no coach. It is something that will stay with that coach for the rest of his life. But was he responsible for the young man’s passing?

As I pointed out in my previous blog, there are many questions surrounding the event. There are accusations that the Dad, who was present when Max collapsed, changed his story about the surrounding events. There were some that said the coaches denied the players water. Others said that was not the case. I do know that we are a most litigious society and that we want somebody, anybody held responsible anytime something bad happens. But I think we need to draw a line. We have a shortage of good coaches today in high school sports. High School coaches, as with almost any segment of youth sports, make very little money for coaching. Some are teachers but the stipends for most coaches are relatively small. As an example, for a softball season (roughly 3 ½ months) the average pay for a walk-on coach is between $2,000 and $3,000. Some pay more. Many schools will allow the booster club if there is one, to contribute money to pay a coach more. But it has to go through the school. Some schools do not allow this. Many schools don’t have or don’t allow booster clubs.

With this in mind, how many people do you know are going to want to take such a job knowing the risks that may hang over you should something happen to one of your players? Furthermore, as the lawsuits continue to mount, it may force schools to cut back on sports programs for the students, citing the increased liability issues. And of course, I am biased. But I constantly wonder about the ever increasing judgments in various liability and wrongful death lawsuits and I ask, how much is enough? No amount of money will bring back a player, a worker, a family member. A person cannot be replaced by money. Some point to the need to “punish” the offending party so “send a message.” But are we sending the right message?

I will be watching the trial of the Kentucky coach as I am sure many in the youth sports world will. This situation could have far reaching ramifications. On the surface I wonder why the coach was charged with a crime. I have heard the same comment from several people already. There are too many potentially contributing factors that were out of the coach’s control. The student had been taking supplements which are known to dehydrate the body. Even if he wasn’t taking them at the time the effects may still have been with him. He was taking a medication that I have been told is basically a strong amphetamine. How might that drug have affected the young man’s body? No autopsy was performed. How do we know if there may have been other factors involved? And why did it take months to decide whether or not to file charges?

The bottom line here is that a student athlete died on the field of sport. That by itself is a tragedy. We should be seeking ways to prevent the occurrence of such events in the future. But to fix this or any other potentially damaging event, we must quit pointing fingers at everyone else, take a step back, and say “what could I have done?” “Could I have done something to impact this situation? Or, was it just the occurrence of life. I believe that when God calls us we go home. There are no appeals. No second guessing. He calls, you go. We as humans don’t understand when such a young life is ended so early. But sometimes it just is. Life just is. We recover. We learn. We move on. Sometimes there’s nobody to blame. And sometimes, that’s the most difficult realization we have to accept.

Please say a prayer for Max Gilpen’s family; for the coaching staff of the school; and for all others involved directly or indirectly in this tragedy. And may we pray that we can learn something that will help us all do what is right in the future for our young athletes.

Tragedy and Tribulation in Youth Sports: Why do these things happen?

Two events have occurred within the last two weeks that have provided a whole refrigerator full of food for consumption by any youth sports fan, player, coach, or administrator. There is so much to consider I am actually going to write this blog in three parts.

Of course, the two events I’m talking about are the blowout girl’s basketball game in Texas, and the high school football coach being charged with negligent homicide in Kentucky. The first event has created media frenzy with more storm than Hurricane Katrina. The second event is a tragedy but is also an event that could lead to huge changes in youth sports policies. It has also amplified our need as a society to blame someone whenever someone is hurt or killed, or even when we don’t get what we want. There are many parts of each side of each story that have merit and seemingly an equal number of issues on each side that do not have merit.
In case you somehow have missed either one of these stories, here are a couple of links to each one just to fill you in on the basics of each story.

Kentucky Coach Pleads Not Guilty in Player's Heat Death
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,483027,00.html

School Seeks to Forfeit 100-0 Win
http://highschool.rivals.com/content.asp?CID=903780

In one story, a high school football coach has been charged with negligent homicide (some consider this to mean “murder,”) in the death of one of his players from apparent heat related issues. In the 47 years from 1960 to 2007 there have been 114 reported heat stroke deaths according to the Fox News articles. And while there were many lawsuits, never, I said NEVER, has a coach been charged with a crime from his or her actions. And in this case, there are a number of reasons to question why this coach has been charged with a crime.

In the other story it is basically one really good team beat a less talented team….really bad. Like, 100-0. The team that lost is from a school that works with children who have various issues such as learning disabilities, ADHD, and other special needs kids. Both schools are Christian schools, which of course, brings out all those who don’t believe in God who love to post wisecracks knocking those who do. The coach of the winning school has been fired for refusing to apologize. And the losing team has now canceled the rest of their league games.

So to finish today’s blog, I will basically list the stories and the questions I have surrounding the events listed. Then in my next two blogs, I will address those questions. In the meantime you can think about the questions I pose as well and see if we come up with the same answers. Dr. Gerald Coy will be my guest on Monday’s show of Kidz n Sports airing at 3:00 PM to 4:00 PM California time on the internet at www.AdrenalineRadio.com. We are in the process of producing a collaboration of articles into a book “Healthy Kidz n Sports.” These two events have many lessons both mental and physical that we can learn from.

First, in the tragic case of 15 year old Max Gilpin’s death during football practice in Kentucky:
1. Why was there not an autopsy performed? This young man took nutritional supplements and some medications. How do we know that this did not play a major part in his death? I used to run Cross Country in Arizona in 100 degree heat. 12 sets of wind sprints in 94 degree heat index isn’t something I’d worry too much as far as being that dangerous for a healthy 15 year old.
2. Why was the head coach charged with a crime and not the assistant coaches?
3. The father of the boy was present when his son collapsed. Why would there be no responsibility on his part for the boy’s welfare? And did he change his story?
4. Did the coach or coaches refuse to allow the players to have water? One report says “yes” another says “no.”
5. Where do we draw a line between what is a “tragedy” and what is a “crime?”

Second, in the case of the basketball blowout:

1. Why did the Covenant Coach not freely substitute his players when the score was so lopsided?
2. If the Covenant Coach was “running up” the score, why did his team only score 12 points in the 4th quarter?
3. Are learning disabilities only found in girls? The Dallas Academy boy’s basketball team beat Covenant Christian School. While I try to be somewhat sensitive about somebody’s handicaps, I also don’t like to see a disability used as an excuse when no excuse is needed.
4. What is the appropriate way to coach or play when such an obvious mismatch exists? Is it more embarrassing to a player to lose 100-0 or to lose 40-10 and know that the other team played “on their knees?”
5. After the Dallas Academy officials stated how proud they were of their girls and how they didn’t give up, they canceled the rest of their league games. Why?
6. Should the Covenant Coach have been fired?
7. Do we place too much importance in the score of a game and not enough on how it is played?

Feel free to post your comments below. I will publish the second part of this blog on Monday, February 2nd, discussing the Kentucky event and the third part of this blog on Wednesday, February 4th discussing the Texas basketball game.

Why nothing on Tuesday? It’s my 19th Wedding Anniversary. I must take my wife out for a nice dinner.

Starting 2009 – Another Year, Another Opportunity

WOW…..!!!!

Another year gone, another year upon us. Where did the time go? How many games, how many practices, how many laps, crunches?
But the most important two questions we must ask: Did we grow as a player, as a person? And did we have fun?

Whether you answered the above questions yes or no, we must not settle on our past laurels. It is now time to make our goals (if you haven’t already done so) for 2009. Notice, I said goals, not resolutions. Resolutions are a good start. But if they aren’t turned into goals, well, we know the traditional lifespan of a resolution.

Take a look at what you achieved last year. Don’t judge whether you achieved a little or a lot. Whether you rated your accomplishments at a 1 or a 10 that is not a finishing point. That is your starting point for 2009.

Let’s say you had a pretty unproductive, or even a bad year. You didn’t play well. You struggled with grades. Perhaps you had some troubled relationships. You absolutely must remember one thing: This is only one year of your life. Now you may be saying to yourself “Coach Mike, if that’s only one year, what do I have to look forward to for the next 5, 10, or 20 years?” “I don’t want to live my life if it’s all going to be like this last year.”

Well, the good news is that your future does not have to be so bleak. In reality, it probably won’t. For a young person, this is one of the most difficult things to understand; that one year is just a very small part of your life. You are still learning about life. You’re probably going to make some mistakes. Each person is different. Things can be changed for the better.

But guess what? It’s up to YOU! If you are not satisfied with last year, with where your life is right now, you have the power to change it. But you must be willing to deal with that little word….”change.”

It has been said that a fool is a person who is very dissatisfied with the last five years of their life, but doesn’t want to change anything, and yet expects the next five years to be different.

So let’s try following these steps to have a better 2009:

1) Make a list of the POSITIVE things, the blessings in your life. These may be people in your life; it may be something you accomplished. But the first step to success is to realize that there is POSITIVE in your life. It may be a little, or it may be a lot. MAKE A LIST!

2) Now make a second list of the things you would like to change in your life. Don’t be vague. Write out specifically what you want to change. For example: “I want to get a B in Biology instead of a D.” “I want to raise my batting average by 30%.”

3) Now go down that second list and by each item you want to change, write down a specific action you will take to change that item. For example: “I want to get a B so I will study more. I will study for at least 1 hour extra per night.” “I want to raise my batting average by 30% so I will go to the batting cages twice a week.”

If you followed these steps guess what you have just done: You have set goals for 2009. Take your list out every day, and read it. And each week take a check of how much progress you are making. Not making progress? Perhaps you made an unreasonable goal. If you see you are not making progress in one area, go back and look at the original item, the action planned, and the goal. Perhaps you were not following up with the action you needed to take. Maybe you only studied one extra hour per week. Be accountable to yourself. Get your parents to help you. (Yeah, you have to trust your parents once in a while.) But you can make the changes you need to have a more successful year.

If you need someone to help you be accountable feel free to email me at coachmike@kidznsports.com. I will be happy to help you with your goal setting and accountability. But keep in mind, honesty and accountability go hand in hand. You must be honest with yourself first.

Oh yes, and for those of you who had a very successful year. You too need to not sit on your laurels. Enjoy your accomplishments. But don’t think you are finished. I’ve seen many people have one or two great years and then sat back and figured everything else would just gravitate to them. Wrong! You need to keep building on your success. You may not show as much improvement because of where you are starting. But you must keep moving forward. Again, it is only one year in your life. And remember this: If you are still awed by what you accomplished yesterday, then you must not have done anything yet today.

Best wishes for 2009.

What if the coach is wrong?

At the beginning of each season, I would tell my players that there were two basic rules that governed my program:

1. The Coach is Always Right!

2. If you see that the coach is wrong, go back to rule number 1.

Of course, in reality many coaches may practice such a guideline but usually in a friendlier way as exemplified by the following statement:

There are three ways to do anything around here - the right way, the wrong way, and Coach's way.

So as a player what do you do when you see, er think that the coach is wrong?

First, you must absolutely make sure that you are sure and that everyone else is sure that Coach is wrong. Especially early in the season, or in your career with a certain team, there can be very detrimental effects in butting head with your coach. Consequences that can occur can range anywhere from a laugh, to the bench, to "see ya later."

Second, you must weigh the benefits vs. the potential consequences (see above) of calling out the coach. In most scenarios, the consequences usually FAR outweigh the benefits, if there are any. Most of the time the benefits are limited to a temporary boost in pride or ego. Emphasis on the word "temporary."

All joking aside, reality dictates that Coach may be w....wro.....wwwrrroonn....wrong..once in a while. After all we are human. (yeah, like that excused helped umpires too.) Usually a coach's mistake is something misspoken or calling out the wrong player for something that another player did. Mistakes on the field don't count. Which brings me to the meat of this blog.

In order to prolong your sports career, and to hopefully make it a more enjoyable and successful one, here are a few guidelines you may want to follow. By the way, these may also help you off the field in relationships with others too.

As with most things, we must make a judgment call as to the importance of the transgression. I was recently told of a coach who was released from his job because of the way he treated his team players. Verbal or physical abuse, unfair punishment (think this one out, many people seem to think any punishment is unfair,) money mismanagement, etc. are all important issues that should be brought to someone's attention. Depending upon the player's age, (and usually I would say anyone under 18) should notify a parent of the coach's action(s) before going "public" with accusations or rumors.

If the coach just misspoke, such as mentioning a wrong game date, or giving credit for something to the wrong player, it may be something that you ignore or perhaps mention to the coach PRIVATELY. Don't shout out in front of everyone "Hey Coach, you're wrong man...." or "Gee Coach, you sure screwed that one up."

But when it comes to issues such as playing time, strategy, or any other on-the-field issues, you must remember one very important thing; the Coach is the coach. He or she is in charge of the team. He or she is entitled to run the team in the manner which they see fit. Especially if it is a travel or club team, you really have no recourse other than to leave the team. Whenever possible, even if it is slightly unpleasant or maybe not so much fun, try to complete your commitment to the team. If you leave one team it may not be such a big thing. But if you develop a history of team jumping, moving from one team to another just because you don't agree with the coach's decisions, you may find it harder to get on a team. Sports communities, just like many corporate communities, are like a big family. Word travels fast. And believe me you will get a label.

Lastly, always treat your coach with respect, even if you feel they don't always treat you the same way. In the long run you will be the one who comes out ahead. Whether you believe it or not, most coaches really do want to do what THEY feel is best for their team. They really do recognize the value of the players. I try to follow a guideline I once heard that if the team does well in a game, I give credit to the girls; they won the game. If we did poorly, before I discuss what the team needs to do to improve, I look at myself first. I messed up. But that may translate to "I messed up by not making sure my team was better prepared." There still may be a butt chewing if the coach thinks there was a mental letdown in the game.

If you are a player who thinks you deserve more playing time; if you think the coach unfairly singled you out for something; or if you think there is something bugging you or other teammates, ask the coach if you can speak with him or her in private. Most coaches, especially at the high school ages and above, would rather hear from you than from your parents. You can take some responsibility for your life. Most coaches will respect you for doing so, if you do it with respect.

Just as with most other things in life, even if a coach makes a mistake or acts out of line, they probably do a whole lot more right than they do wrong. Coaches like to be appreciated too. Keep all this in mind and I'm sure you will do well and have some fun in your youth sports career.