The Difference Between Success and Failure:

TEAM USA Men's Basketball – The Redeemed Team – Gold Medal

Success or Failure? Success of course. The goal was set and achieved. The NBA players showed that they still know how to play “REAL” basketball.

TEAM USA Women's Softball – Silver Medal

Success or Failure? I guess it depends upon how you choose to look at the results.

Goal achieved? Not quite...but goals are never absolutes. Goals are a guideline to help us along the way. Goals are also not usually a “one event” thing. They are set to cover a specific period of time with a certain desired result to achieve.

If you want to look at one game, the final game, you could say we failed to win that game. But if this is how you look at your goals and your life, I think you would be robbing yourself of many blessings and the joy of many successes. Let's take a look at the bigger picture.

4 Olympics. 22 wins in a row. 32 wins, 4 losses. 3 Gold Medals, 1 Silver Medal. 51-1 margin of victory in the Athens games. 58 – 5 margin in all games including the final in Beijing. And what happened in the final game? Did we embarrass ourselves, did we play so terribly we shouldn't be allowed on a softball field ever again? Heck no!

Japan rose up to the challenge. Especially Ukiko Ueno. Tell me you wouldn't be proud of her if she was your daughter. 21 innings. Three games back to back to back. Her arm had to be ready to fall off. Did we let down...no..Ueno climbed up. Twice Team USA had the bases loaded. Ueno battled out. She only struck out 4 batters. We were hitting the ball. But sometimes the ball just doesn't go where you want it.

Laura Berg said it best when I interviewed her in Irvine on Team USA's final exhibition stop; “we have a target on our backs.” Everyone wants to go out on top she said.

Team USA Softball has probably achieved a far bigger goal than winning one Olympics. They have done more to advance the sport of softball worldwide than any other single group or event. They have opened new doors for thousands, maybe millions of young girls with the advancement of softball, and even more importantly, with the class and character that has been exhibited by Team USA.

There is a quote the “success breeds contempt.” The original quote by Aesop was “Familiarity breeds contempt.” Unfortunately, in youth sports today we often see the first practiced. Some kids get on the winning team at an early age. They become successful. And often, even though they may not be one of the top players on the team, they (many times following the words of parents) look down on the less successful or lesser known teams. They sometimes feel invincible and only see losing as ultimate failure. Parents have split friendships because of an error, or because one's son or daughter was not on “that” team.

Team USA Softball is still the best team in the world. As one friend of mine said “how is it that you beat a team two out of three and they get the gold medal?” This Olympics only served to remind us of the oldest and probably truest axiom in sports; “On any given day.....”

Congratulations Team USA Softball. You had one heck of a run. I believe softball will be back in the Olympics and when it is, Team USA will still be the team to beat. You have shown character, class, and professionalism on the world's biggest stage. You have shown what the Olympics are supposed to be about.

The Frog in the Water

There was once a story about how if you would put a 12 year old athlete in a pot of boiling water that he or she would immediately jump out. But if you put that same 12 year old in a pot of cold water, turned the heat on so that the water warmed up gradually, that the athlete would boil to death. Ok, so maybe it was a frog. I always get that mixed up.

You probably know the story. But if you take a look at youth sports, I think you can see that the same analogy can be applied. I would think that many of our kids, and probably even many parents, if they had never been involved with youth sports and suddenly came upon the local little league, ponytail, or other youth sports organization, might be a bit shocked at the carrying on. I’m sure they would think twice before joining.

Those of us already there….we’ve gotten used to it. Some of us have probably even become a bit numbed by it all.

I’ve seen families who used to be on the same team and were good friends, are now opponents and can hardly talk to each other. I mean, we’re talking to the point of rudeness here…not your friendly competitive teasing.

We have parents of opposing teams getting angry with each other because of a call the umpire made. And of course, the ump takes it from both sides too. (And we wonder why we have a shortage of umpires.)

There are people on various message boards that will insult one another, call each other names, and just be downright childish because they disagree on a coaching technique.

I’ve seen organization board members complain season after season about how they do all the work and that nobody helps. Yet when they get some new people on the board the first thing they do is demand that the newbies do things the same way they did it and if they don’t an argument develops there. Then the old board members wonder why nobody wants to join in and help out.

I’ve seen parents take their daughters from team to team because they weren’t getting enough playing time. Sometimes it because they were not one of the best players and other times the player ended up in the doghouse or leaving the team because her parents tried to dictate to the coach how he or she should run the team.

Adults hating and fighting with each other; kids embarrassed by their parent’s behavior; parents (adults - allegedly) calling opposing players (12 year olds even) names; coaches teaching players to cheat until the player gets caught; I could go on and on and on.

In the Old Testament book of Judges, there is a verse that says “There was no king in Israel, and everyone did as he sees fit.” This can really be used for youth sports today, as well as many other places in our society. Everyone does as he sees as right.

Everyone wants to be the leader. Of if not the leader, they still want things done their way. They want their kid to come first. They want their son or daughter to get the awards. We want, we want, we want…. But we don’t seem to want to learn from those who might benefit us the most.

Parents, let’s change youth sports for the better. Let’s learn to accept what we are given, as we want out children to accept what we are able to give them. Let’s learn to accept the call of the officials, so that our sons and daughters will also learn to accept their rulings. Let’s learn to accept the position the coach puts our kids in, and if it is not the position we wanted, let’s teach our kids to work harder to earn the place they would like to achieve.

Let’s teach our kids that reward is earned by accomplishment, not something to be handed to everyone.

If your son or daughter is older than 16, take a look at how many trophies they have from teams in rec ball where everyone got a trophy. Ask your son or daughter how important those trophies are to them now. Compare how much more valuable is the trophy that they had to earn; the award that their teammates voted for them to receive; or the Coach’s award or the Most Improved Player award.

Parents – let’s learn to be civil with each other, on the field or off. And while we spend a lot of our lives trying to teach our children the ways of life, let’s try not to get carried away at times…sometimes we can learn a lesson or two from our children.

There Oughta Be A Law

This weekend my daughter’s travel softball team participated in the 18A ASA So Cal State Tournament. As a first year travel ball team they did very well and we were proud of their overall play. But the most interesting topic of the weekend was the calling of illegal pitches.

Now, illegal pitches can be of many varieties. There’s the crow hop, the leap, not presenting, both feet not touching the rubber to begin, illegal substance, etc. Many times they are overlooked. Other times, the umpire will warn the pitcher and try to help the pitcher correct the offense. And then there are those times, which seem to be quite rare, where the ump will call the illegal pitch, the pitch is called a ball (unless of course, the batter chooses to hit the pitch), and any runners on base are awarded a base.

I have had an interesting journey with illegal pitches, especially the crow hop. My first year coaching high school softball, one of the rival pitchers in our league had a major crow hop. This girl flew off the rubber. After a series of discussions with the base ump, his final answer was “I’m the President of the Association and I’m not going to call it.”

Wow.

The girl happened to be the coach’s daughter and he told me that she was pitching 18 under travel ball and that she had not been called. I had my parents wanting to bring out the rule book. It got pretty crazy. But off and on over the years, I have run into instances in both high school and travel ball where pitchers were crow hopping, stepping off the rubber, etc. and couldn’t get a call. At ASA State in Palm Springs a few years ago (16u) a girl was hopping and our first base coach was trying to get the ump to see it but she wouldn’t call the hop. When our pitcher came out, and again when the other team put in another pitcher, the ump would say now she’s dragging properly. We agreed. But still couldn’t get her to call the illegal pitch on the first pitcher.

Now I have read about and been told that there are a few reasons that umps tend to ignore crop hopping. But the biggest reason seems to be the lamest, unless of course you are the umpire and you have to bear the brunt of your calls. That is, it has been said that most blues will not call illegal pitches because of the fallout from parents and coaches. Once you call one girl, then that team wants you to call the opposing pitcher. Sort of like speeding, where do the cops start writing tickets…5 mph over, 10? Other reasons for not calling illegal pitches are a new ump not recognizing or understanding what the offense is; poor field conditions, etc. Another confusing thing for those umpires that do multiple levels is that it is legal in men’s fastpitch to crow hop. And of course, one of the issues that came up this weekend, with some pitchers if the umps called every illegal pitch a two hour game could become a four hour game.

The sad part of all this is that illegal pitches are called in college ball and quite strictly. I once saw Amanda Freed called for illegal at a UCLA game once. I couldn’t even notice her off the ground. Here again, depending on your angle, you may not even notice it. My daughter almost never hops but once, upon returning home from a 12u tournament in Las Vegas, I was looking over some pictures I took and low and behold, here was Jessica frozen in air with both feet a few inches off the ground.

Anyway, this weekend at Artesia Park, the umpires were calling illegal pitches right from the outset. In our second game, the ump must have called at least eight to ten pitches between both team’s pitchers. The opposing coach was jawing in his ear every inning about our pitcher, until his pitcher also got tabbed. Finally, the umpire said he wasn’t calling any more unless they were real extreme, otherwise we’d be here all night.

My issue with this is fairness. Remember, I’m one that has been trying to get blue to call pitches for several years, and I’m not alone. But at the same time, it really isn’t fair to the players when the umps ignore the illegal pitches all year in friendlies and smaller tournaments to suddenly decide they are going to enforce the rule. It’s sort of like telling your kids, don’t put your shoes on the sofa, then ignore them putting their shoes on the sofa for six months, then suddenly WHAM giving them a swat for putting their shoes on the sofa today.

ASA…let’s make this simple. Either instruct the blue to enforce the rule ALL THE TIME or take the rule out of the books.

While I know some advantage can be gained by replanting in front of the rubber, but how much of an advantage is it really? When you have kids throwing 60+ mpg from 43 feet, or even 40 feet, what’s another six inches. It usually is the stronger pitchers that get called for hopping because they have so much leg drive off the rubber. Maybe we draw a chalk line six inches in front of the rubber and a pitcher is only called for illegal if they go over the line. It may simplify the rule making it easier to understand. It may save a lot of arguments and grief. And it may take a little heat off our kids.

Oh, and by the way…pitching instructors…this is on you too. (I know some of you actually teach kids to crow hop, although you may be in the minority.)

Either way, let’s come up with a solution to this issue. A lot of time and energy is wasted yearly on this. Let’s get back to playing softball.